Ugly: A Letter to My Daughter
SKU: 61353685124

Ugly: A Letter to My Daughter

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Ugly: A Letter to My DaughterA tender, moving, and insightful account of queer motherhood and an interrogation of life on the margins of American culture as a self described "ugly" woman "A rigorous ladyballs out polemic that also tells the most raw, tender, against all odds story of parenthood that I've ever read." Mary Gaitskill, author of Veronica Ugly is a word with fangs that can kill a woman's self esteem in one bite. Edicts about how women should look, behave, and think

A tender, moving, and insightful account of queer motherhood and an interrogation of life on the margins of American culture as a self-described "ugly" woman

"A rigorous ladyballs-out polemic that also tells the most raw, tender, against-all-odds story of parenthood that I've ever read." --Mary Gaitskill, author of Veronica

Ugly is a word with fangs that can kill a woman's self-esteem in one bite. Edicts about how women should look, behave, and think are the brutal forge through which they are made -- not born -- as Simone de Beauvoir famously argued in The Second Sex. And to defy the pretty imperative is to experience a kind of invisibility. It can be a hard thing to admit to yourself, let alone to your child, to say the words "I am ugly" or "I am seen as ugly." But early on in her motherhood journey, watching her young daughter begin to wrestle with beauty standards, Stephanie Fairyington felt compelled to face her own demons and to unpack her own ugly self-perception, one that she could trace to her own childhood, in order to conquer this seemingly immoveable frontier, far too taboo even among women to broach: the ways in which women's lives are unfairly contoured by the nature of their looks.

The multiple iterations of ugliness that Fairyington saw in her young self--her physical appearance, her formative gender dissonance, and obvious lesbianism--are not present in her beautiful and traditionally feminine daughter. But Fairyington's old feelings of inadequacy take on new meaning as she confronts fresh insecurities around her role as the nonbiological mother in her relationship, exacerbating wounds from a lifetime of being treated differently, from the poverty of her genetic inheritance to questions about her parentage to doubts about the legitimacy of her family.

Interlacing cultural history and analysis with memoir, Ugly is a probing investigation into cultural norms and the formation of our aesthetic sense of self. Fairyington contrasts her so-called ugliness with her daughter's attractiveness and adherence to beauty ideals, a tender and tenuous condition that her daughter was already walking a tightrope to maintain at age six. By sharing the history of her troubled self-image, Fairyington invites us to go rogue, to invent a new language and logic to overthrow all the ways that women have been cultivated to hate themselves.

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SKU: 61353685124

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Jason Brown
Chelsea, US
★★★★★ 1
A total joke.
Pattern Name: Cage Ball, Size: Large - 4 Inch / 8.5 oz
I was so hopeful and really wanted this to be as good as the sellers claimed. After all, they boast of a lifetime replacement (a joke and be sure to read the ridiculous terms lol). I have a "pocket pitty" and she loves rubber toys. There is not much I have found that can withstand her force; however, reading reviews AND seeing their warranty, I wanted to give it a try. Typically, I stick with Java wood and XL super dense knotted ropes, as that has been the only thing that can last any real amount of time. Thankfully, she never goes after our stuff or household items/furniture, just her toys. The ball arrived. I checked it over. It looked semi promising. I was hopeful. The design does allow for them to leverage their paw strength by getting it between the rubber bars and then pull with their teeth. Within 3 minutes of her having it, she already had a bar ripped off. Within 5 minutes, she had 3 bars ripped off. Don't get me wrong, she had a blast. But this is by no means strong enough for an actual aggressive chewer. Perhaps there is just not anything rubber that can handle her jaws, but now I can't get a replacement because the warranty only covers if the product is defective. It doesn't cover chewing damage (on any of their products). The advertising is very misleading so be aware. Why a replacement if she will just destroy it again you may wonder? She loves to go after a ball, but now I know she can kill this one, I keep them in a drawer and only let her play fetch with it while supervised. I will say though, I you have a puppy, I think this would be great for them as long as they are not extra large. The material has give, which is nice. But if you have a real aggressive chewer, don't waste the money.
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Reviewed in the United States on March 7, 2023
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TERESA
Waukegan, US
★★★★★ 4
Not indestructible, but is very tough.
Pattern Name: Ball, Size: Large - 3 Inch / 12 oz
My dog destroyed this, but it took a little longer than it usually does. Would love to know how the lifetime replacement works. There is no information that I see on how to contact the seller.
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Reviewed in the United States on December 8, 2025
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Diane Knickerbocker
Boise, US
★★★★★ 5
Would buy again
Pattern Name: Cage Ball, Size: Large - 4 Inch / 8.5 oz
This is a great ball! Both my dogs love it. Queensland is a heavy chewer and I can see no damage. Catahoula loves to fetch and kick after kick and retrieval this ball shows no wear. It’s easy to pick up and is a good size for my dogs.
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Reviewed in the United States on December 11, 2025
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Laura Hein
Grantham, US
★★★★★ 5
Very Durable Ball
Pattern Name: Cage Ball, Size: Large - 4 Inch / 8.5 oz
This ball has held up to regular puppy chewing for 3 months now. At first I was worried my retriever would get her mouth stuck in it, but it hasn't been a problem since she has gotten bigger. Supervision required for smaller pups. One thing to note is that the ball was shipped with a strong rubber smell, but that has gone away with use and washing. Super easy to clean! It is a heavier ball making it bounce well and it doesn't damage the walls. Super durable. She's been chewing on it every day and there is no damage to it at all. The scratches, holes, or pieces missing. It's stayed intact for months!
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Reviewed in the United States on October 6, 2023
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dellanney maxwell snyder
Lowell, US
★★★★★ 3
Good ball, but not really for super chewers
Pattern Name: Ball, Size: Large - 3 Inch / 12 oz
This ball is tough...my (foster) dog is tougher. It is a heavy rubber ball, but my Staffordshire bull terrier is able to destroy these balls within about a couple of hours. We never let him chew on these unmonitored. If you have a moderate chewer, this is probably ok for your dog; for any super chewers, you might want to pass. We first bought one of these balls when we learned our foster dog (fresh out of the shelter) had heartworms. We knew we had to keep him occupied somehow, and it is by far his favorite toy (he loves the doughnut-shaped toy as well). We bought MANY of these during his heartworm treatment. Now that he is done with his treatment we won't buy any more of these. They are expensive for what they are. And just be aware that the lifetime warranty only applies to material or manufacturing flaws...not the actual toughness of the product.
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Reviewed in the United States on June 16, 2025

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